I feel pretty good about the way things are going with my life.  I put my dating profile back up and would like to meet people in hopes to eventually meet the one.  However, I have been extremely discerning and have come across many red-flags that I see and look out for.  I admit, I delete most of my emails that come through, the ratio of maybe 1 out of 10 emails are worth responding back to is pretty accurate.





1. I receive a message from a man who has a picture presenting himself in a way that he is somewhat gangster or thug.
2. I receive a message, respond back asking a question about themselves and they answer but don't ask anything back.
3. They admit that they haven't read my profile.
4. Make negative comments about dating or admit they aren't looking for a relationship
5. Have little or no common interests or values.
6. Use poor grammar and spelling.
7. Are too aggressive.  I had one man ask me during an initial email conversation whether or not I had a 'hot bikini' to wear on his boat!?
8. After I stated in my profile none-the-less that I didn't drink, he asked me to go for drinks, he continued to ask how I couldn't drink on a boat?
9. The guy is completely self-absorbed and do not take reference anything I say in my profile or probe about what information I do share with them in effort to get to know me.
10. Are in a mad rush to meet because they don't want to waste time.

These are my 10 standards

1.  A profile presented with photos of a well-respectful man and introduction with proper spelling and grammar.
2. Asking me questions directly related to my profile, engaging and lively.
3. They show they have read my profile by paying attention to the details.
4. They clearly state they are looking for a relationship and have a positive outlook.
5. Share values and common interests. We share common goals.
6. Respectful, consciousness, thoughtful and fun.
7. Clearly express an interest in getting to know me.
8. Are in an appropriate age range.
9. Have a respectful living.
10. Must be a nature and animal lover.

The truth has set me free, I am an alcoholic.  I don't look at it in a negative way - I'm relieved!  I now am taking responsibility for my well-being.  Sobriety so far as in a month long journey, but I am celebrating everyday and not discounting any length of time because it's cherished.  For the past five years I've debated whether I had a problem with drinking. For the most part I appeared as a party girl, going out to the bars every weekend, mostly blackout by the end of the night, but lets face it, that was the culture.  I stopped drinking for a months, to figure out what was going on.  None of my friends or family understood; and they told me that they don't think I have a problem.  They just thought that I should "cut back on the amount of drinks" when I did it. Easy enough right?  Well for someone who isn't a problem drinker.  I finally hit a point where the truth was in my face like a pie - I had memories and flashbacks of all the times that I drank and blacked out, especially the most recent waking up on a sidewalk near the bar.  I knew this was no accident, no party phase I was going through. I am an alcoholic and I can not drink.  Accepting that truth actually lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.  I felt like I was like a gay person that was coming out of the closet for the very first time, I was finally being authentic with myself.  Now sobriety for me is much more than not drinking.  It means healing those parts of myself that I didn't face.  Sobriety is an emotional and spiritual journey towards inner peace and growth.  It's becoming of you, who you truly are.  You can not have a solid foundation if you are not building it on solid ground.  A few days after my 31st birthday I gave myself the gift of choosing sobriety.